Second Place--Not the Worst Place in the World

Yesterday, I was at Target and saw a t-shirt that said, "There is no 2nd place." That's odd, I thought. If there was a winner, didn't there have to be a loser (or more politically correct, a non-winner)? ;-)

Everyone likes to win. But it isn't always possible, which explains things like no-score games, participation ribbons, etc. But I think a balance has to be struck. It makes as little sense to have high school varsity games end with juice boxes and purple "Great Job" stickers as it does to have a national tournament for first-graders.

Younger kids, just learning a sport and (more importantly) learning what it's like to be on a team, need to be encouraged to like what they're doing. It's not fun to miss a catch 100 times in a row or hit off a tee because you can't get the bat around fast enough on the coach's pitch -- especially when there's a butterfly hovering over the bench or somebody's little sister just pooped her diaper. But if the overall experience is fun, kids may stick with sports past the age of 13, which is the age by which approximately 70% of kids have dropped out.

** When I started playing softball at age 10, which is arguably later than most kids start sports these days, I was assigned deep center field. Nearly every inning I was out there, I picked dandelions and made up stories about what was happening with all the kids on the bases. I didn't get yelled at, though, and I have no memory whatsoever how that team did. I just remember thinking, "I'd rather be where some of the action is," and so I worked a little harder.

In addition, I think it's okay to avoid the winner-takes-all (and WAAC) messages when kids are little. They don't need to be THE BEST 6-year-old flag football team. They really don't. They need to be the team that has the best time and learns how to play.

As kids mature, though, and their athletic skills improve, they need to know that 2nd place isn't the end of their lives; it's an opportunity for improvement. Second place isn't anything to scoff at, even when only two teams are playing. I haven't followed American Idol in years, but it seems to me that for awhile the 2nd place winners had the better record contracts...any AI fans out there who can corroborate that? Second place doesn't doom someone to failure unless the expectations are too high.

Why isn't 2nd place so bad? Because at least the kids are out there, presumably having fun. There's only something wrong with 2nd place if we teach the kids that there is. Just like there's only something wrong with throwing off-footed if...well...

BUT even more than 2nd place being not bad, why is 2nd place essential? Second place doesn't exist just so 1st place can lord it over someone. Second place is essential to kids learning how to lose gracefully, congratulate a worthy opponent, take stock of how they could have done things differently, and grow together as a team. In individual sports, 2nd place is essential for all the same reasons except instead of growing together as team, maybe the athletes grow with a coach.

Although the cartoon at the beginning of this post is sarcastic, there is reason to accept something less than #1, if you've given it your all. And, sorry Target, there really is a second place, and as a parent, I'm glad for it.

What do you think? Is there value in 2nd place or does that teach kids not to try very hard? Leave your comments below or on our Facebook page: CHILL Manager Sportsmanship in the Real World.

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