Frustrated hockey player takes it out on his community

In Farmington, Minnesota, a Twin Cities suburb that still straddles the line between bedroom community and farmland, residents love their town and their sports teams.

A late-game surprise during the February 12th high school hockey game, though, showed something different -- something that points out the fragile relationship between a community and its high school sports "heroes." One of Farmington's goalies decided he was fed up with his coaches and didn't care who knew it.

Here's what happened:
The Farmington goalie deliberately scored a goal against his own team, tying the game. Then, he removed his glove, flipped off his coaching staff, and saluted the parents and fans. Finally, he took himself out of the game and went to the locker room. Watch the video --

At first (and probably last) glance, the goalie was just plain wrong to express his pent-up frustration the way he did. Flipping off your coach in public, causing your team to lose, and quitting the team on senior night are about as unsportsmanlike as it gets. The only thing that could have made it worse was if someone had gotten physically hurt, too.

But I can't help but wonder about the story before that story. What caused him to snap? According to a post the goalie made on Facebook, here's what he believed:

"They played this sophomore goalie for the starter, he was terrible, I would try and talk to the coaches about this and tell them I want playing time but they never really listen to me or gave me a chance to show them that I'm a better goalie but still wouldn't trust me so I had it it with I asked a few of my players if they care if I did it and they didn't care they thought it would be funny so at the third period they dumped it in I stopped it put in my net started to skate off then flicked the coaches not the team the coaches then I saluted them then got off. 

My hockey season is over. I did it for myself. [Like my status] if you think the coaches should quit:)"

So was this a situation where the parents and coaches were WAAC-ed out (wanting to win at all costs) and a player got lost in the quest? Or was this a situation in which the player wasn't a "team" player and was only looking out for himself? Is it possible it was a little bit of both?

Part of the problem with emphasizing competitive sports too much is that kids' expectations, like ours, become unrealistic. Clearly the Farmington goalie thought he was better than the sophomore goalie who got more playing time. His coaches didn't. Was he too confident or were they blind? At this point, no one knows. The coaches may have thought it was more important to try to win games earlier in the season than to give a senior the opportunity to finish out his high school career with more game time. (He was in the game when this all happened, though, so they must have decided that playing a senior on senior night was the appropriate thing to do.)

Somewhere along the line there was a breakdown in both communication and intention. And I'm betting it didn't start February 12th, 2013 or even February 12th, 2012. I'm betting it happened much earlier, probably when the goalie was playing in his first Squirt games.

In Minnesota, high school hockey coaches are usually very involved in their towns' youth hockey programs. From 3rd grade on, coaches know who the good skaters are, who are middling, and who aren't that good at all. Tryouts are really only for the handful of kids who might have improved over the summer. As a former hockey parent myself, I have no doubt that the teams are formed, not on the ice, but around a beer or soda. Every hockey parent out there has a story of how a player bombed tryouts because of an injury and he made the A team anyway. Or the kid who busted his butt all summer long, spent countless hours at a rink during the best months in Minnesota, still only making the C team because another kid's dad could coach the B team if his kid was on it.

For the Farmington goalie to still be playing hockey as a senior, he must have been told that he was good at some point -- either by his coaches or his parents. Otherwise, he would have been cut before now. So it's no wonder he was pissed that he wasn't getting playing time and a kid who hadn't put in the time he had was starting in front of him. He felt entitled to that playing time; he felt he deserved that playing time.

However, the coaching staff, who had probably known him for seven or eight years, had some reason to allot playing time the way they did. They're paid to coach; winning games is a good way to keep that job.

I tried to contact the goalie but didn't get a response. So we don't know how far back the problems went. But a frustrating situation, created by expectation and hubris, set into motion the events that eventually caused the unsportsmanlike conduct on February 12th.

What do you think?

I'd love to hear from the coaches or anyone else involved with this. If you know someone who knows someone who might want to email me, please pass this along.

I can be reached via the website at www.chillmanager.org. Thanks!