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Gun Violence and Sports Violence: Power Plays with Devastating Outcomes

On December 14, 2012, shortly after the violence at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut, a mother named Sharon Watts started a group called "One Million Moms 4 Gun Control." By the end of February, 2013, the group had over 80 chapters across the country and at least one in each state. They also renamed themselves "Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America." Their mission is to get legislators to enact sensible gun laws to protect families.

As I watched that organization grow and get traction in the national conversation about violence in the U.S., I couldn't help but wonder if sports violence is a problem just as an insidious, but not as visible.

In a great piece authored by Ismat Abdal-Haqq for the ERICDigests.org (Educational Research Information Clearinghouse), he explores sports violence in our society. Two of his findings are that there are two types of violence in sports: instrumental and reactive. Instrumental violence serves a "purpose" within a sport -- to deliberately change the momentum of a game or take out an opponent. Reactive violence is when a player or coach loses control of his/her frustration and anger and lashes out at someone else.

Sounds a little bit like the difference between the fact that we train our military in gun violence (instrumental) and the ever-increasing occurrences of gun violence by frustrated, angry, sometimes mentally ill, people (reactive). At least with gun violence, one version serves a purpose. I'm not sure how either serve a meaningful purpose within sports.

When an athlete displays reactive violence by causing a fight, taking a cheap shot with the intent to injure, or verbally abusing an opponent, he or she is acting on the basic feeling of powerlessness.

Yes, powerlessness.

The build-up of frustration because the player can't control the official's calls, the opponents strong defense, a teammate's bungled play, or a coach's decision about playing time can erupt with lightning speed and with sometimes terrible consequences, ranging from penalties to life-changing injuries. All because a kid feels like he didn't get a fair shot.

Don't we also hear time and time again that gun violence is perpetrated by people who feel powerless? By kids or adults who were bullied in school, marginalized socially, and who suffered from feeling unloved? By newer, weaker gang members who have to participate in violence or risk bringing it on themselves or their families?

Then there's the whole question of our society glamorizing violence. There are many hundreds of "hardest hit" or "best fight" clips shown on sports channels. Many of those athletes best known for their in-game violence (Derek Boogard, Junior Seau, etc.) were revered and paid handsomely for their aggression. Unfortunately, those particular athletes paid for that aggression with their lives, later. In terms of gun violence, how many movies, video games, and television shows are shoot-em-ups? A lot, I know, because there are stacks of them at my house, too.

Part of the mission of CHILL Manager is to promote sportsmanship. Part of promoting sportsmanship is taking on the challenge of reducing violence. But here's a sad truth from Mr. Abdal-Haqq:

"...these negative outcomes of sports involvement are caused by adults, particularly parents and coaches. Lip-service is paid to sportsmanship and having fun, but rewards are reserved for winning. Often, encouragement to pursue victory is accompanied by direct and indirect signals that aggressive behavior is acceptable to achieve it. Hellstedt also suggests that anxiety about winning impedes performance and makes players more susceptible to injury. Physicians have noticed an increase in sports-related injuries in children (Hellstedt, p. 59).
http://www.ericdigests.org/pre-9214/sports.htm

I'm a season ticket holder for my local National Lacrosse League team, the Minnesota Swarm. Last year I nearly gave up my tickets for good because the violence on the turf was disgusting and I was embarrassed that I encourage kids and families to attend games. I tried to cover my daughter's eyes during one game because the punching and blood-spattering was sickening and at least at the level of an R-rated movie. The team finished strong, though, and my resolve to take a stand weakened. I paid lip-service, but didn't follow through because it was fun to watch the team win.

This year, I attended a game and there was a first-time spectator sitting behind me. The entire game he yelled at the players when they backed off from the fight. "I want my money back," he said one time, only half-joking. But later, "There you go, hit him--kill him!" he said when a fight finally broke out for good. And he wasn't the only one. Little kids in the crowd chanted "Fight! Fight! Fight!" as the punches were thrown and cheered wildly for the players who trotted off to the penalty boxes. I wondered, again, how it is that even little kids think it's great to encourage people to fight.

People who know me know that I hate the fighting in sports. I joke with them that I'm just not wired with that code. Sometimes I joke that it's a "man gene," even though that's not fair to many men I know. Sometimes I blame it on being a mom because I don't want my sons to think that violence is the answer when they're frustrated (so far, so good) and I don't want my daughter to become so immune to violence that she doesn't know when to escape from it. But mostly, the violence just scares me.

I don't think I'm a lone voice, though. And I no longer think I need to make excuses for my reticence to accept violence in the sports experiences that are supposed to shape our youth into responsible, contributing adults.

So what are the "devastating outcomes" of not addressing violence? In sports, it's physical injury, psychological injury, and disconnection from community. In the world of gun violence...sadly, we know all too well what those outcomes look like. Is the result of not dealing with sports violence partly to blame for gun violence? That's probably not out of the realm of possibility.

There may not be a million moms (or dads) out there who agree with me, but surely there are one or two. Are you one? If so, join me in the conversation.

Frustrated hockey player takes it out on his community



In Farmington, Minnesota, a Twin Cities suburb that still straddles the line between bedroom community and farmland, residents love their town and their sports teams.

A late-game surprise during the February 12th high school hockey game, though, showed something different -- something that points out the fragile relationship between a community and its high school sports "heroes." One of Farmington's goalies decided he was fed up with his coaches and didn't care who knew it.

Here's what happened:
The Farmington goalie deliberately scored a goal against his own team, tying the game. Then, he removed his glove, flipped off his coaching staff, and saluted the parents and fans. Finally, he took himself out of the game and went to the locker room. Watch the video --



At first (and probably last) glance, the goalie was just plain wrong to express his pent-up frustration the way he did. Flipping off your coach in public, causing your team to lose, and quitting the team on senior night are about as unsportsmanlike as it gets. The only thing that could have made it worse was if someone had gotten physically hurt, too.

But I can't help but wonder about the story before that story. What caused him to snap? According to a post the goalie made on Facebook, here's what he believed:

"They played this sophomore goalie for the starter, he was terrible, I would try and talk to the coaches about this and tell them I want playing time but they never really listen to me or gave me a chance to show them that I'm a better goalie but still wouldn't trust me so I had it it with I asked a few of my players if they care if I did it and they didn't care they thought it would be funny so at the third period they dumped it in I stopped it put in my net started to skate off then flicked the coaches not the team the coaches then I saluted them then got off. 

My hockey season is over. I did it for myself. [Like my status] if you think the coaches should quit:)"


So was this a situation where the parents and coaches were WAAC-ed out (wanting to win at all costs) and a player got lost in the quest? Or was this a situation in which the player wasn't a "team" player and was only looking out for himself? Is it possible it was a little bit of both?

Part of the problem with emphasizing competitive sports too much is that kids' expectations, like ours, become unrealistic. Clearly the Farmington goalie thought he was better than the sophomore goalie who got more playing time. His coaches didn't. Was he too confident or were they blind? At this point, no one knows. The coaches may have thought it was more important to try to win games earlier in the season than to give a senior the opportunity to finish out his high school career with more game time. (He was in the game when this all happened, though, so they must have decided that playing a senior on senior night was the appropriate thing to do.)

Somewhere along the line there was a breakdown in both communication and intention. And I'm betting it didn't start February 12th, 2013 or even February 12th, 2012. I'm betting it happened much earlier, probably when the goalie was playing in his first Squirt games.

In Minnesota, high school hockey coaches are usually very involved in their towns' youth hockey programs. From 3rd grade on, coaches know who the good skaters are, who are middling, and who aren't that good at all. Tryouts are really only for the handful of kids who might have improved over the summer. As a former hockey parent myself, I have no doubt that the teams are formed, not on the ice, but around a beer or soda. Every hockey parent out there has a story of how a player bombed tryouts because of an injury and he made the A team anyway. Or the kid who busted his butt all summer long, spent countless hours at a rink during the best months in Minnesota, still only making the C team because another kid's dad could coach the B team if his kid was on it.

For the Farmington goalie to still be playing hockey as a senior, he must have been told that he was good at some point -- either by his coaches or his parents. Otherwise, he would have been cut before now. So it's no wonder he was pissed that he wasn't getting playing time and a kid who hadn't put in the time he had was starting in front of him. He felt entitled to that playing time; he felt he deserved that playing time.

However, the coaching staff, who had probably known him for seven or eight years, had some reason to allot playing time the way they did. They're paid to coach; winning games is a good way to keep that job.

I tried to contact the goalie but didn't get a response. So we don't know how far back the problems went. But a frustrating situation, created by expectation and hubris, set into motion the events that eventually caused the unsportsmanlike conduct on February 12th.

What do you think?

I'd love to hear from the coaches or anyone else involved with this. If you know someone who knows someone who might want to email me, please pass this along.

I can be reached via the website at www.chillmanager.org. Thanks!

Pistorius: Sprinting into his own Shakespearean Tragedy

Perhaps you've heard of Oscar Pistorius, the South African runner? Currently, he's infamous for shooting his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp.
Steenkamp and Pistorius

Last summer, he was famous for being the first double-amputee to compete in the Olympics.

Prior to that, he was known for creating a worldwide discussion about the advantages and disadvantages held by athletes who are forced, usually by tragic circumstances, to use prosthetics in order to compete.

Pistorius
And it is an interesting question, in these times of ever-evolving polymers and metal alloys. Technology has finally given us the ability to enhance athletic performance in the physically challenged and has also blurred the line between able-bodied and para-competitions. So should all athletes, regardless of race, religion, country, gender, or number of limbs be allowed to compete in the same contests?

Ok, I'm not actually going to answer that because I'm not sure either.

Anyway, back to Pistorius.

In an article written for ABCnew.com by Bazi Kanani, I found this quote from his father quite telling:

Pistorius' father was quoted overnight in the South African paper The Sunday Times saying his countrymen are destroying a national icon.
"There is something fundamentally wrong with our society," Henke Pistorius said. "We build people up into heroes, who overcome immense challenges, only to take great glee in breaking them down."

Isn't that the truth? As consumers of sports, we build up these national icons, adore them, idolize them, aspire to be them, support them with our hard-earned dollars...then, when they turn out to be human after all, we delight in the next act in the show: the downfall.

Much like a Shakespearean Tragedy, our protagonists (athletes) are faced with a paradox -- how far will they go to maintain their status, and will hubris eventually ruin them? Is it possible to stay "on top" without sacrificing integrity?
Shakespeare: the man who understood  men
Unfortunately, Pistorius is the next installment of Shakespeare meets 21st Century Celebrithetes. Whether or not he's guilty of murder isn't the point today. The point is that Pistorius has, indeed, been crowned and then dethroned.

It's a story that has played out for centuries and will play out for centuries more, or for at least as long as we make heroes out of mortals and, even more quickly, make mortals out of heroes.



Lessons from Dominican Little League

The Caribbean Sea, seen from Santo Domingo, Rep. Dominica. 
When I first sat down to write this post, it was destined to be a feel-good, "look at these kids playing for the love of the sport" piece. A big ol' smiley face piece. An "Awww" piece. A "I wish our kids could value their opportunities a little more..." piece.

Then I did some more research and looked a little closer at my assumptions. Dominican kids don't have less pressure to succeed at baseball, as the Saturday afternoon, semi-organized games I witnessed would suggest. They have infinitely more.

Baseball came to the Dominican Republic in the late 1800s, brought by Cubans (the first Caribbean baseball powerhouse) who were fleeing their war-torn country. Almost immediately, it became a hit. Teams were formed, then leagues, then major leagues, then a professional league, then academies, training centers, scouting stadiums...Baseball is considered the national pastime of the Dominican Republic and a lot of outside money comes into the country because of it.

Yet, due to economical strife caused by their last dictator, Rafael Leonidas Trujillo, most of the population is desperately poor.
A (hopefully) uninhabited home
According to the Dominican Prospect League's home page, "From the time they are little, Dominican boys are enticed by the dream of a professional career in baseball. Many perceive this as their only opportunity to escape a life of poverty."

According to our guide, running water is spotty, even in the capitol city of Santo Domingo.
We saw dozens of shops and homes with garbage piled on the roofs or thrown in the streets.
Our kids, here in the U.S. (for the most part), aren't trying to escape a life of poverty; they're trying to attain a life of luxury. That difference in motivation means that the Dominican kids who want to succeed at baseball have more to lose by missing the limelight than the U.S. kids who have to settle for college, community college, or post-high school jobs if they don't become the next Babe Ruth. Dominican kids who don't make it have far fewer options for schooling and far fewer opportunities for work outside the tourist industry (the number one industry in the Dominican).

The desperation that comes from wanting to flee poverty is one that drives kids, families, and those who can profit off of them to do whatever it takes. The focus isn't on winning games and collecting medals and trophies, like it is here. Frankly, from what I saw, medals and trophies would seem to be a luxury not worth having. The focus instead is on becoming the best technical player one can be. That's the way to success. Well, that a willingness to sacrifice youth, education, and money for a shot.

In a fascinating ESPN article, "It's not all sun and games," authors Jorge Arangure Jr. and Luke Cyphers explore the reality that is Dominican little league. In it, they reveal the Dominicans' secrets to cultivating youth players.

.... Of course, one reason Dominican kids are so skilled is that they play few games. Unlike topflight American youth baseball, which emphasizes dozens of organized games a year, Dominican training is based on solitary repetition. "I don't know if they know baseball," one U.S. scout says of the trainers, "but they know how to coach them for the showcases."
Guzmán's charges drill seven hours a day -- five hours on hitting alone, up to 400 swings. "Just like the big leagues, scouts want big, strong guys who hit the ball out of the park," says Astin Jacobo Jr., a New Yorker who built an academy in San Pedro on an old sugarcane field eight years ago and now has 27 alumni currently in pro ball, including his son, Astin III. "It trickles down."
Something else trickles down too: a lack of regard for education. Most of these boys don't attend school. Dominican kids and families rolling the dice on baseball are making an economic decision. The United Nations says the Dominican government spends just 2.3% of its gross domestic product on education, ranking 121st in the world, behind Rwanda, the Philippines and Kazakhstan (the U.S. ranks 38th, at 5.7%).

 
Two of several baseball fields we saw that day. Notice the lack of infield, lines, bases, and grass.
Although the blowing trash was mostly absent from this particular field, others were littered with the offings of multiple days and households -- wrappers, bottles, diapers, and papers.

In the Dominican Republic, families are doing the exact opposite of what I wish we could achieve here. They're wagering all they have on the physique of a pre-teen, eschewing school and trade training, and creating situations in which an entire family's future is impacted by the achievement or failure of a young athlete.

Despite the fact that this blog is about promoting good sportsmanship and appropriate attitudes with regards to youth sports, I understand that those issues are almost uniquely American. Seeing the Dominican little league players out on a scorching day, working their butts off, was inspiring but they're doing it because they feel they have no other choice, not just because they love baseball.

We are lucky to have choices and lucky that we don't have to depend on sports to make or break our families.

Just a little perspective for today...

Arts vs. Sports




Do you live in a family that values sports over the Arts? I'm fortunate that my family had a strong tradition in both, so I never felt pulled toward one or the other. Even now, I feel a good balance between them and have tried to instill that in my kids.

I knew a family once, though, that would have probably felt a little bit like the couple above, had any of their children decided to go into music or art or drama.

How do you feel about the Arts versus sports? Do you think one is more valuable than the other? If so, why? Leave your thoughts below, or chime in at www.chillmanager.org (Parent Pulse).

Parent-Coach Pitfalls



Have you had the opportunity burden obligation privilege...

Have you ever coached your kid? What was your experience like? What was the best part of it...and was there a worst part?

My daughter has asked me to coach her lacrosse team this year. I've never coached my own kid...any pointers, parent-coaches? :-)

Let me know what you think in the comment section below!

At What Price, Sports?


Kids are entering into sports at younger and younger ages. I contributed to that issue several years ago when our youth lacrosse program was faced with dwindling numbers and we needed a new way to grow our program.

Enter the Lax Lites program. We developed a fun, entry-level lacrosse program for kids in kindergarten-second grade. "Practices" were held inside a hockey rink, on turf, kids wore brightly-colored shirts and science goggles, and players played wall ball with soft, pink lacrosse balls. It was actually fun seeing all these little kids running around learning lacrosse.

At the time, it seemed like sport self-preservation. We needed to grab those kids before they fell in love with soccer and baseball.

What are your thoughts about how early kids should start playing sports? How young is too young?

Too Much Fame and Fortune



I bet a lot of kids dream of rolling in the dough, gold rings, fast cars, and private jets...all for playing a sport they love (or playing in a band named after themselves).

But each step toward great fame and fortune brings with it accompanying privacy and security issues. It's almost as if the more someone belongs to the world, the smaller their personal world becomes. Celebrithetes are hounded by paparazzi, just like other celebrities.

How far would you encourage your kid to go to seek the pinnacle of his or her sports accomplishments?

Sportsmanship in competitive dancing


I haven't mentioned this before, but "sportsmanship" is a concept for any type of extracurricular activity in which our kids are involved. Issues with sportsmanship aren't just on sidelines; they're at gymnastics meets, dance competitions, cheerleading tryouts, band auditions...really, anywhere there's an expectation of a kid WAAC-ing.

Came across this in Slate.com's Dear Prudie column:

Q. Annoying, Competitive Parents: My daughter does dance (cultural) and loves it. The problem is that the nature of the dance is so competitive that I find there is friction between me and other parents. My daughter is not the best dancer in the school, but loves to dance. However, the parents of some of the other children go to the competitions and act like their kid if winning the Super Bowl every time they get a medal. My daughter is starting to feel quite sad about not being in the group that always wins and I am not sure how to help her handle it. The parents are obnoxious with their competitive nature and need to win at any cost. One of them actually said rather loudly "go so and so, I hope you get a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd." My daughter heard this and was upset that the parent didn't also encourage her. I encourage all the children, but find that some of the parents do not do so to my child. Any suggestions?
A: You need to talk to the people who run this activity. There should be clear rules for parental behavior and it sounds as if this bunch is violating them. You also need to tell your daughter you understand how these parents are making her feel bad, but they are in the wrong. Dance should be about love of creating something beautiful—which is what she is doing! —not a bunch of medals. Tell her you're proud of her for doing her best and loving what she does, and tell her you feel sorry for the parents who are ruining this activity for everyone. And if the whole organization's perspective is distorted, find another dance group that's about the skill and the joy.

What I love about my own daughter's dance studio is that it's not a competition studio, but an arts studio. It's not about being a "winner"at dance.

Sounds like the woman who wrote in needs a CHILL Manager for dance competitions!

Mom, Dad!!! We're in the Super Family Bowl!


I'll admit that the Super Bowl ended like I hoped it would, because I was rooting for family.

I was completely intrigued the match-up between head-coach brothers, with parents and other family watching it unfold.

This was a game about family; it was a game in which every coaching decision seemed infused with decades of family and sibling dynamics. There wasn't a bold call made that didn't evoke a sense of one brother thinking, "Got ya" and the other brother thinking, "Not for long, buddy."

What makes the meme above so funny is that the real-life aspect of the game was in our faces the whole time. These aren't automatons or idiosyncratic sports idols first. These two men are brothers first. They've played, fought, undoubtedly made some bad decision as teenagers, and lived...together. There was no way to forget that bond (not to mention the fact that they look so much alike) as the game unfolded.

Julian Linden, in this article, wrote about how the brothers, and others, felt:


"I just love him obviously. I think anybody out there who has a brother can understand what that is all about," John said.
"The meeting with Jim in the middle was probably the most difficult thing I have ever been associated with in my life. I am proud of him."
The game, at the Superdome in New Orleans, was preceded by one of the most poignant moments ever witnessed in the 47 editions of the Super Bowl when a choir from Sandy Hook Elementary School joined Jennifer Hudson in a stirring rendition of "America the Beautiful".
The 70,000 spectators rose to their feet, many with tears in their eyes, as the children sang, nearly two months after the deadly shooting rampage at their Connecticut school.
"Our wish is to demonstrate to America and the world that, "We are Sandy Hook and we choose love," the school said in a statement.
So, obviously, it wasn't just about the Harbaugh family. The Sandy Hook Elementary kids who sang reminded us that, through a still-unspeakable tragedy, they are now our family, too. I don't know anyone, tough or not, who didn't grieve their way through the Sandy Hook school shooting by worrying about their own children and grandchildren. That makes us all connected.
Then, there are the Harbaugh parents. I have two sons who are 12 months apart; the Harbaugh coaches are only a little farther apart than that. Just this weekend I hurt for each of my own as they worked through sibling crap. I can't imagine how I'd feel if they were pitted against each other in one of the most important sporting events of every year...or how they'd feel for each other.
AP Photo: Coaches after the Super Bowl
From this Associated Press article, entitled "John Harbaugh 'hurting' for younger brother Jim":
Even as the clock ran out and the Baltimore Ravens jumped around and embraced each other, the winning coach strode toward center of the field hurting for his brother, Jim, as much as he was pleased for himself.
The short embrace between the Baltimore and San Francisco coaches on the floor of the Superdome, in which Jim briefly touched John's face, "was probably the most difficult thing I've ever done, ever been associated with in my life," John said.
"Jim is a great competitor," John Harbaugh added. "I just love him, obviously. I think anybody out there who has a brother can understand. I just believe in him and I have so much respect for him. I admire him. I look up to him in so many ways and I am hurting for him in that sense."
And later on in the article...

After watching John Harbaugh address the media, Jack and Jackie Harbaugh made their way across the ground level of the Superdome to the 49ers locker room, where Jack spoke with Jim behind closed doors. The Harbaugh parents had predicted that their thoughts would likely be more with whoever lost the game, because they figured that son would need them most.
We all know, as parents, that it's super easy to get caught up in our kids' games, especially when they are a BIG DEAL. And this was a BIGGER DEAL than a 4th grade soccer game or a 6th grade middle-school football game. Or, even a high school state championship or a college playoff game during March Madness. 
This Super Family Bowl shows us that family is more important than any of that. Shoot -- family is more important than the Super Bowl. And, this time of the year, nothing's bigger than that.
Joani, John, and Jim Harbaugh
** As I was writing this, I found a picture of the Harbaugh siblings that I just HAD to show my daughter, the youngest of my three and the lone girl behind two teenage brothers. "Look what they have! A YOU!"
Also, the only reason I even watched the game this year was because of my own family. Way to go, Uncle Dean!
Have you ever been in a situation where your kids were pitted against each other in a game? How did you feel? How did you handle it? Leave comments below...

Second Place--Not the Worst Place in the World


Yesterday, I was at Target and saw a t-shirt that said, "There is no 2nd place." That's odd, I thought. If there was a winner, didn't there have to be a loser (or more politically correct, a non-winner)? ;-)

Everyone likes to win. But it isn't always possible, which explains things like no-score games, participation ribbons, etc. But I think a balance has to be struck. It makes as little sense to have high school varsity games end with juice boxes and purple "Great Job" stickers as it does to have a national tournament for first-graders.

Younger kids, just learning a sport and (more importantly) learning what it's like to be on a team, need to be encouraged to like what they're doing. It's not fun to miss a catch 100 times in a row or hit off a tee because you can't get the bat around fast enough on the coach's pitch -- especially when there's a butterfly hovering over the bench or somebody's little sister just pooped her diaper. But if the overall experience is fun, kids may stick with sports past the age of 13, which is the age by which approximately 70% of kids have dropped out.

** When I started playing softball at age 10, which is arguably later than most kids start sports these days, I was assigned deep center field. Nearly every inning I was out there, I picked dandelions and made up stories about what was happening with all the kids on the bases. I didn't get yelled at, though, and I have no memory whatsoever how that team did. I just remember thinking, "I'd rather be where some of the action is," and so I worked a little harder.

In addition, I think it's okay to avoid the winner-takes-all (and WAAC) messages when kids are little. They don't need to be THE BEST 6-year-old flag football team. They really don't. They need to be the team that has the best time and learns how to play.

As kids mature, though, and their athletic skills improve, they need to know that 2nd place isn't the end of their lives; it's an opportunity for improvement. Second place isn't anything to scoff at, even when only two teams are playing. I haven't followed American Idol in years, but it seems to me that for awhile the 2nd place winners had the better record contracts...any AI fans out there who can corroborate that? Second place doesn't doom someone to failure unless the expectations are too high.

Why isn't 2nd place so bad? Because at least the kids are out there, presumably having fun. There's only something wrong with 2nd place if we teach the kids that there is. Just like there's only something wrong with throwing off-footed if...well...


BUT even more than 2nd place being not bad, why is 2nd place essential? Second place doesn't exist just so 1st place can lord it over someone. Second place is essential to kids learning how to lose gracefully, congratulate a worthy opponent, take stock of how they could have done things differently, and grow together as a team. In individual sports, 2nd place is essential for all the same reasons except instead of growing together as team, maybe the athletes grow with a coach.

Although the cartoon at the beginning of this post is sarcastic, there is reason to accept something less than #1, if you've given it your all. And, sorry Target, there really is a second place, and as a parent, I'm glad for it.

What do you think? Is there value in 2nd place or does that teach kids not to try very hard? Leave your comments below or on our Facebook page: CHILL Manager Sportsmanship in the Real World.

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And check out our website: www.chillmanager.org

See you around!